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(Source: therealjbridges)
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me: humanity is awful i can’t believe this there is no goodness or love

me: life is ok actually and i have a reason to live
(Source: powerarmor)
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(Source: thedarkwillreign)
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I’m so excited
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rich ppl are like so easily convinced abt ghosts I remember growing up it was near this vacant lot and whenever I broke a toy instead of going to face the wrath of my mother I would fucking bury it in that lot and then sure enough, some dude tried to develop the land and found a ton of buried rotten dolls and shit and told everyone it was haunted
it’s been over a decade and that lot is still vacant
You single handedly tanked the value of someone’s prime real estate and that makes me happy
As soon as I read this I immediately started thinking of ways to do this on purpose to get cheap land and I was five posts down my dash before I realised I was becoming Scooby Doo villain
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(Source: everybodyhurt)
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I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.
Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small child’s hand.
I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, “Don’t you FUCKING dare,” so hard that I take psychic damage.
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(Source: raffaroffa)